Download the Lyrics Toolbar   Free
Lyrics Toolbar
Search and browse lyrics easily and instantly. Search for artists, albums and songs. Includes a popup blocker.
The lyrics toolbar sits unobtrusively at the top of your browser. Right click here and 'save target as' and then run the file.
artist album song
'The Professors Song' by 'Tom Lehrer'
from the album 'Unknown'
All songs by Tom Lehrer
All albums by Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer CD Reviews

Lyrics for 'The Professors Song' by 'Tom Lehrer'
To "if You Give Me Your Attention."
If You Give Me Your Attention, I Will Tell You What I Am.
I'm A Brilliant Math'matician - Also Something Of A Ham.
I Have Tried For Numerous Degrees, In Fact I've One Of Each;
Of Course That Makes Me Eminently Qualified To Teach.
I Understand The Subject Matter Thoroughly, It's True,
And I Can't See Why It Isn't All As Obvious To You.
Each Lecture Is A Masterpiece, Meticulously Planned,
Yet Everybody Tells Me That I'm Hard To Understand,
And I Can't Think Why.

My Diagrams Are Models Of True Art, You Must Agree,
And My Handwriting Is Famous For Its Legibility.
Take A Word Like "minimum" (to Choose A Random Word),
This Was Performed At A Blackboard, And The Professor Wrote:
For Anyone To Say He Cannot Read That, Is Absurd.
The Anecdotes I Tell Get More Amusing Every Year,
Though Frankly, What They Go To Prove Is Sometimes Less Than Clear,
And All My Explanations Are Quite Lucid, I Am Sure,
Yet Everybody Tells Me That My Lectures Are Obscure,
And I Can't Think Why.

Consider, For Example, Just The Force Of Gravity:
It's Inversely Proportional To Something - Let Me See -
It's R^3 - No, R^2 - No, It's Just R, I'll Bet -
The Sign In Front Is Plus - Or Is It Minus, I Forget -
Well, Anyway, There Is A Force, Of That There Is No Doubt.
All These Formulas Are Trivial If You Only Think Them Out.
Yet Students Tell Me, "i Have Memorized The Whole Year Through
Ev'rything You've Told Us, But The Problems I Can't Do."
And I Can't Think Why!

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 0-9


All lyrics are provided for informational and educational purposes only. Lyrics are
subject to all international copyright laws and remain the property of their respective owners.