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Lyrics for 'Talkin John Birch Paranoid Blues' by 'Bob Dylan'
Well, I Was Feelin' Sad And Feelin' Blue,
I Didn't Know What In The World I Was Gonna Do,
Them Communists They Wus Comin' Around,
They Wus In The Air,
They Wus On The Ground.
They Wouldn't Gimme No Peace. . .
So I Run Down Most Hurriedly
And Joined Up With The John Birch Society,
I Got Me A Secret Membership Card
And Started Off A-walkin' Down The Road.
Yee-hoo, I'm A Real John Bircher Now!
Look Out You Commies!
Now We All Agree With Hitlers' Views,
Although He Killed Six Million Jews.
It Don't Matter Too Much That He Was A Fascist,
At Least You Can't Say He Was A Communist!
That's To Say Like If You Got A Cold You Take A Shot Of Malaria.
Well, I Wus Lookin' Everywhere For Them Gol-darned Reds.
I Got Up In The Mornin' 'n' Looked Under My Bed,
Looked In The Sink, Behind The Door,
Looked In The Glove Compartment Of My Car.
Couldn't Find 'em . . .
I Wus Lookin' High An' Low For Them Reds Everywhere,
I Wus Lookin' In The Sink An' Underneath The Chair.
I Looked Way Up My Chimney Hole,
I Even Looked Deep Inside My Toilet Bowl.
They Got Away . . .
Well, I Wus Sittin' Home Alone An' Started To Sweat,
Figured They Wus In My T.v. Set.
Peeked Behind The Picture Frame,
Got A Shock From My Feet, Hittin' Right Up In The Brain.
Them Reds Caused It!
I Know They Did . . . Them Hard-core Ones.
Well, I Quit My Job So I Could Work Alone,
Then I Changed My Name To Sherlock Holmes.
Followed Some Clues From My Detective Bag
And Discovered They Wus Red Stripes On The American Flag!
That Ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I Investigated All The Books In The Library,
Ninety Percent Of 'em Gotta Be Burned Away.
I Investigated All The People That I Knowed,
Ninety-eight Percent Of Them Gotta Go.
The Other Two Percent Are Fellow Birchers . . . Just Like Me.
Now Eisenhower, He's A Russian Spy,
Lincoln, Jefferson And That Roosevelt Guy.
To My Knowledge There's Just One Man
That's Really A True American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
I Know For A Fact He Hates Commies Cus He Picketed The Movie Exodus.
Well, I Fin'ly Started Thinkin' Straight
When I Run Outa Things To Investigate.
Couldn't Imagine Doin' Anything Else,
So Now I'm Sittin' Home Investigatin' Myself!
Hope I Don't Find Out Anything . . . Hmm, Great God!
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